Today, I made my mother cry.
This article is going to be a bit personal. Probably offensive as well, but I couldn’t care less, not anymore. In all honesty, I am tired and sick; of the people, their inability to mind their own business, their spiteful refusal to see a mother accept her daughter, their failure to respect people, and the disgrace they cause to the term ‘relatives’.
Today, my mother cried to me. Not because I had done anything, but rather because she was taunted for accepting me for who I have become. She was humiliated for being bold and brave and going against the traditional society. Today she cried because her sister and her nephews decided to poison her mind against her own child and mention the fact that she didn’t raise a respectful daughter, but a ‘courtesan’.
Even in my mid-twenties, as far as my memory goes, the only role I recall my relatives playing in my life has been that of taunting my parents for having only daughters and wanting to make them educated and independent individuals. I was only 14 when I returned to Bangladesh.
All I remember listening to those days were statements such as, “Daughters are burdens, better get rid of them ASAP.” “It's pointless to waste so much money over a daughter, they won’t give anything in return”, “Having unmarried girls at home will only attract negativity and negative glances.”
Shocking, isn’t it? Yes, some of us are still stuck in that mentality and miss no opportunity to spread it.
I grew up in a family where we were taught the necessities of the religion, avoiding the extremism of rigid traditions, or anything that is violent. My parents focused more on raising us as responsible humans, on respecting the people surrounding us. As children, my father ensured that we were aware of the fact that we are no less than our boys. To this day, I don’t remember some of my aunts being any proud of their sister; for being such an ambitious mother- that too of daughters.
Fast forward to 2018; ever since I have been on my own, in terms of living, following my own set of ethics, not attending events with relatives, the so-called ‘concern’ of my relatives have only increased. If only it was positive, though what amuses me is the extent to which they can walk only to point fingers at women, who strive to move ahead with time and focus on realising their ambitions.
My mother, who has been a full-time housewife all her life, has, however, been the reason behind raising daughters actively involved in co-curricular activities. Her energy has been our source of confidence to build ourselves as career-driven individuals.
Today, when her eldest child has finally made her way through a career, she’s been called by names by her sister because, “Your daughter earns too much for her age. She dresses too immodest for a girl, moreover lives on her own, who knows what she has been up to there.”
Disgusted? Me too, but you know what? That’s a harsh reality that a lot many of us have embraced and are fighting against, every single day, in this part of the world.
It’s the reality that movies like “Pink” and “Angry Indian Goddesses” are trying to portray, except that in this case, the offender is an extended family which in itself is also quite common.
Today, I write this piece asking all the mothers struggling to support their daughters, to have faith. Have faith in whom you have raised, have faith in the person you take pride, have faith in the one who fights every day to make you proud.
Have faith in your daughter. Because we, the daughters of Bangladesh, fight for you, as much as we fight for ourselves; we fight for us.
Daughters of Bangladesh- each and every one of them, who are building the way to achieve their dreams, who are breaking all the shackles and moving ahead, who are moving forward in life, have always and still are facing the stigma of being termed ‘disrespectful’ and’ immodest’ by our society.
As Daughters of Bangladesh- we fight every day to be treated like humans, we struggle every day to get out of the house and walk without being glared at, we grow wiser every day while tackling statements inclusive of mansplaining and flirting, we jog through every day to be respected.
My salutation to all mothers out there who stand beside their daughters in the movement to be bold, brave and independent.

Sanjida Tanny is the founder of Contentier (more known as The Raconteuse/Storyteller) and a passionate art curator.